Me against this Bitch

"I get stoned every day like Jesus did."--Jay-Z

That's my view on life..I mean it's like all I do for you is never enough. Why must I suffer ridicule and the animosity of those who I brought no pain to?..why am I such a believer in Love and peace but yet I'm built for war. I mean I fear no man and I in a sense have no regards for this temporary cocoon called life. Cuz see If I live to be 100 years old what does that matter when I die for eternity. Give me hell...I don't care..what's pain and hate gonna do to me...really..sometimes I feel like I'm not cut out For heaven because I choose my sins and I except them with such competence that it almost seems "worth" it to me. What pain could you cause me when I hurt myself everyday. Trying to alter my image to fit that of those who say it's necessary. Hating myself for missed opportunities and scattered acomplishments. I FAIL!!!...just like every other man walking but I still seem to think I should be excluded from mistakes...I often take the thought of being godly to far and begin to believe I'm god himself...until the reality of not controlling fate or destiny sets in...How Depressing...so I say fuck the very world I roam if she won't do things my way...I'm young in time...but I'm old to the innocent..strong to the weak,weak for the women and nothing to the angels. I mean what have I done but give money to those less fortunate..that's not love..that's not helping..I taught you nothing..I learned that I don't have to give all my money to naked dancers but also to dirty disasters who seek second chances...second chances that I can't give...See there it goes again...who am I to give a person another life...I'm only human...and in that I'm filled with humanity...so I want you to eat meals meant for you...sleep in beds made for you...wear clothes bought by you and receive love sent to you...but this bitch named life plays her games and us who have the most heart and love to give are kept down cuz if we could rise then this world would be better and life would lose control of the ability to fill minds with doubt and hearts with hate...I'm fighting her and I some how will make the world better...cuz I'm more than human...whatever that is.....